Friday, September 11, 2009
#1. the joyful and greatful tears.
If you look on the blogpost below, your first thought would probably be, what on earth is wrong with her why would she spend money on him like that and various questions circling your mind would entrap you, force you to believe that I buy my best friend.
Puck You. My best friend is someone that keeps me alive and reminds me everyday what I live for, my best friend gives me the hope I need to go on. My best friend is there for me pretty much every moment of my pain.
Today, I looked at the post, and tears welled up and something reached into my heart and yanked. I felt understood, yet right now I feel like the most misunderstood person in the world, but when I look at the picture my best friend creates for me, I can't help but grin until my cheeks hurt through wet cheeks, a blocked nose and swelling eyes.
#2. empathy tears.
When its love,
when its family,
when its faith,
when its hope,
when its joy,
when its a story,
I cry my heart out, because my sensitivity reaches to a certain point where I feel like I burst. Where I start to really understand the few words posted on Givesmehope.com.
Yes, call me stupid, retarded, too sensitive, emotional, weird, I don't care.
I don't bottle up my feelings for others, and especially not for those who suffer.
And I believe sacrifice is required, but to a certain level, one cannot take the pain.
Sometimes it may feel like your the only one hurt, but if you slowly look up and see clearer, the other person needs more help than you do.
This is the kind of feeling I get from reading givesmehope stories, they lift my spirit higher, my tears stream down my face, my heart literally aches, yet I keep reading. Just to feel, someone else' pain and empathise.
#3. indivdual's painful tears
Because you wouldn't understand how it feels to cry about something so abstract. A concept you can't grasp, the notion of tearing and shattering.
It hurt you know?
Alot.
--
Daniel, when you didn't hang up or say bye, until I asked 'i thought you were sleeping' and responded with 'but you're all like.. sad or something' gave me hope. Because sometimes, the inexplainable becomes something only you can understand, even though its vague. Right now, its different.
I hate to say it but I told you so. Oh, and congratulations. Love you.
10:59 PM
Sunday, September 06, 2009
My head is spinning, my heart is aching, yet the words are softly hidden.
Tonight, I came across something truly inspiring and beautiful.
Passion on Youtube updated with a video dedicated to a school for the deaf and blind in West Africa.
In the little tribute "more info" section, Jeremy talked about something so important in our lives today, and something I will always remember.
The children and familes there in Ghana don't have much like we do. They lack the right medicine and healthcare, they lack food and many everyday needs we have granted to us so easily. And as heartbreaking as it may seem, they have one thing that many of our society don't. The joy deep inside their hearts, desperately holding on as the last straw.
"a joy inside that isn't fueled by materialism or anything of that sort."
It's evident, their faith in God is what keeps them strong. Their bare minimal of survival needs is the key to their faith and love.
"I will forever be grateful for what they've taught me through their living and their lives. I wanna go back to Ghana one day and learn more and help more and put my faith in action. God is doing great things in the lives of people there!"
In the lyrics, Jeremy expressed his emotions with tears when a blind girl touched his hair and smiled. The tears rushed down, and call me emotional, cry baby whatever, but the painful hope and joy that is expressed in the song is amazing. He keeps a photograph of David, his little brother who suffers from meningitis meaning he can't walk, talk or speak like the rest of us. And this photo gives him the hope and makes him understand;
"You've held them in Your hands all this time
All i can sing is
Da Na Si Da Na a si
Da unya me na si (it means Thank Him, Thank the Lord)"
non posso far altro che pregare.
Something to keep on your mind :), I think this will be on my mind for a few weeks.
10:58 PM
It's been quite some time since I last posted and so many things have happened!
So, two weeks back on a Thursday I got stuck at a busstop for aaaaaaaaaages, and I was really really really cold and tired and bored. I looked around on the seat just to check it wasn't like gross or anything so I could roll up into a ball and cuddle up with legs on the seat too LOL.
And there it was. This months issue of Watchtower.
I think Watchtower is quite important to me, along side a billion other things. When I was living at Bella Vista a bit after Rice O7, this nice old lady came around talking about Christianity. Local community thing I remember and it was really nice talking to her about how I grew up and I told her about Rice. My dad was upstairs sleeping and I was lucky, I think he would've told her to leave. Back then he was alot worse on the Christian thing. ANYWAYS, so she gave me an issue of Watchtower which basically honours God, the Supreme Ruler of the universe. She came around once every now and then some months had more than 1 issue and I'd look forward to it. Eventually I got to go to Anita's church which was pretty amazing experience too. But that's another story.
So anyways back to the busstop, I picked up Watchtower and the previous week I was trying to work out a good schedule for reading the Bible and for some reason I found it really hard to devise a plan. This issue of Watchtower promoted High Moral Standards and Respect for God's Word which I found reaaaaaaaaaaaaally cool. I flipped through the pages until the words "BIBLE READING SCHEDULE" pounced at my eyes. I think my lips reached the corner of my eyes as I grinned to myself in the dark on Tuckwell Avenue busstop LOL.
I know alot of you probably think "ewwww, random magazine picking it up and taking it home !?" But its the coolest 6 pages I've ever cut out from a magazine. They fold to make a booklet tehehe.
it was the best feeling.
the cold ran away, but i felt warm just reading the articles with my phone as the light.
i was sitting there by myself, and for a moment there i didn't mind being alone in the dark.
--
pregare. to pray.
x taytay
ps. don't ask about Watchtower
10:55 PM
Saturday, August 08, 2009
t: are you seriously spending 50 buxx on me?!
d: yeh its about time i bought you something !
--
todays the official starting day of our new pact/DEAL.
OKAY.
by 29th august, we must have gifts ready for each other.
presented on our half birthday: 23rd september!
limit 50, 10 give or take.
IM SO EXCITED.
love ya bestie.
xx.taytay
10:55 PM
Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be?
Or maybe be
Everything that I never thought could happen
Or ever come to pass and
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are
Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Cant see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you
I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you
Is this a natural feeling
Or is it just me bleeding
All my thoughts and dreams
In hope that you will be with me or
Is this a moment to remember
Or just a cold day in December?
I wonder
If maybe
Maybe I could be
All you ever dreamed, cause you are
Beautiful inside
So lovely and I
Can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you
I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you
Is this the end of the moment
Or just a beautiful unfolding
Of a love that will never be
For you and me?
Cause you are
You're beautiful inside
You're so lovely and I
Can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you
maybe. tu puoi cantare per me.
7:29 PM
you're faith can be stronger than that
and you know it.
God bless you.
x
1:25 AM
It's been just a tad too long hasnt it ?
I'm not really bothered to post properly at the moment, but I do want to say one thing.
God Bless You All
HILLSONG CONFERENCE IS IN LESS THAN A WEEK. LIKE 3 SLEEPS TO GO !!
IM SO EXCITED.
Church was a good experience today.
I shall properly blog when I have the spirit.
I think I should start a devotion blog :).
ILOVEYOU.x bye.
10:40 PM
